Tag Archives: futility

Pulling out the rug

I keep forgetting the details. We were talking the other night about how Karen’s gall bladder emergency was a major trigger last year for Brigitte’s breakdown. But then we remembered the boy who was stalking her, and talking about killing himself, just beforehand. I’d been so focused on the aftermath that I’d forgotten that when […]

“double dissolution”

Last Wednesday I couldn’t face the picture I’d been working on. Another one that’s a bit grim, but somehow didn’t seem dark enough. The Wednesday before that I’d sent a progress photo to cousin Michael like I always do when I’m working on something. I’d thought I was sending texts and photos for him, keeping […]

“absorbing Markov chain #2”

This was one from December last year, a patch emotionally dark but creatively fertile. I was glad to see the end of 2022, but not expecting much brighter from 2023. Luckily I’ve been proved wrong so far, following up my usual new year mood rebound with some family wins. Like the drive to live life […]

“kettle bitterness”

To take the boiling frog metaphor right to its end, at that moment a month or so back it was more like sitting scorching on the bottom of a boiled dry saucepan. I really jinxed it the day of that last post, writing and telling people things were getting better. Tempting fate by buying some […]

“minimum viable product (drone #4)”

This was probably the lowest point of my mental state, coming at the end of the worst few weeks I’ve ever had. It’s much easier to deal with your own pain than that of others. I was out walking, feeling that there was nothing to be hoped for but swimming hard to even keep the […]

“augury”

Back in the day I was a fairly depressed young man. Full of woe for my life at the time, but somehow never really doubting my reason to draw or its “success” in the future. I wonder what that young man would think if he could look forward to now. To my life of security […]

brute force

I tried something different on my day off today. Lacking inspiration I went for productivity over creativity. Busted out the big scanner and set up a production line to scan the last few old sketchbooks. Back in the day I drew mostly in those books, tight and controlled pencil work. Then I moved on, set […]

“husk”

Funny that I put a lot of time and effort into the last “happy” picture but this three hour quickie was more satisfying! My motivation and self-worth are still a work in progress but there is progress. Shame the flowering didn’t last long enough.

“purse of wisdom”

A mangled metaphor about the abundance of clear lessons to be had in this craziest of years. It initially came from pondering the universal ones. How can anyone deny the reality of climate change while the country literally burns around them? Why does it take a senseless racist murder in another country for 432 deaths […]